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"Heero Yuy, L6, and the Second Suit Wars "Part 2Written By: ELLE Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from Gundam
Wing (unfortunately) and they were used without permission, but all
the words are my own. Rating: NC 17 Warnings: occurs post-EW, language, angst, sex,
hopefully acceptable OOC, 1st person POV (*shudder* sorry, no way
around it!), plus a ton of minor and a few major OCs (since it's 1st
person, you get to avoid dealing with them too much.) Pairings: 1x2x1 plus others TBD Summary: Jack Kaufmann has no recollection of the braided man who claims they were once more than friends, but his quest to recover his memories leads him to discover a plot much larger than himself that is a threat to the peace he'd once fought to protect... The lovely Miss-Murdered beta'd this for me and frankly this story wouldn't exist without her encouragement.
"A Former Life Reprised" 2.2 The Return
I spent a lot of time sleeping over the next week. I suspect it was a combination of the brain damage I sustained during my surgery and the fall as well as the fact that I was clearly not in the same physical condition I had been when I agreed to the brain reconstruction years ago. Jack must've kept up some kind of gym routine but it didn't appear to have any of the ferocity mine usually did. While genetic modification had helped maintain my muscle mass to some degree, I could tell I was going to have to start an aggressive regimen when I got out of this bed. I'm sure the week I lay in a coma didn't help my muscle tone either. Memories started to come back to me in dreams and waking moments and at first it was incredibly overwhelming and difficult to manage. Sometimes I couldn't tell if it was a memory of mine or a memory of Jack's and that was especially disconcerting. Sometimes Duo seemed too old, older than he would've been if it was a memory of mine, but then he'd be doing something I was sure we had done together and I would become confused. So instead of trying to figure them out, I simply catalogued them and filed them away for future use. Both Wufei and Duo floated in and out of my room during that time, although in an unusual turn of events, Wufei was the talkative one that I preferred to see when I awoke. Duo usually just sat quietly and tried to avoid looking at me and sometimes it was almost more than I could take, although I didn't let him know that. The thing I craved most in those quiet moments was his physical contact - and he saw fit to deny me it absolutely. But there was nothing I could do, nothing I could say. He had every right to be angry and I supposed I should've been grateful for his presence at all. The day the doctors started talking about my discharge I heard Duo and Wufei arguing outside my door. Their words were muffled but when Duo eventually walked in he wore a look that was downright pathetic. He stared at the ground nervously, scratching the back of his head. "Guess they're gonna let ya break out of here," he finally opened, glancing up at me sheepishly as if even he was embarrassed of the way he was acting. I hoped he was going to enlighten me a bit more than that so I waited. But, unfortunately, he just asked me what I thought I was going to do. "I'm not going home with you?" Before the words even left my mouth I realized with horror that I wouldn't be. We didn't live together any more. There was no home, no us. He wasn't just pissed about me pulling another "hot shot stunt" on a mission. We wouldn't go home and we wouldn't fuck and I wouldn't apologize in my own way and we wouldn't be fine. No. I was alone now. It was going to be hard as hell to start thinking that way. "Never mind," I told him by way of apology as he floundered for words. "I don't know. I assume I have an apartment." "Yeah, 'Fei found the address for me." Duo paused, looking guilty. "Do you think you'll make it on your own? I live in Sanc, ya know, like five hours away." Shit. That knowledge felt a bit like a punch to the gut. He was going to leave me in that apartment that was Jack's all by myself. And while that was fine, I didn't mind being alone, really, it was just... I didn't want to be that far away from him either. Instead of moping, I sat up, attempting not to wince from the pain of my broken ribs, and threw my legs over the edge of the bed. My left knee had been shattered as I had twisted at some point on the way down and it impacted with the ground first. So it was immobilized in a large brace, making the move awkward. I had to scoot way forward on the bed to rest my good leg on the floor, supporting me in a half standing, half leaning against the bed position. The exertion was brutal and my head swam a bit but I felt I kept my composure better than was expected and Duo gave me a skeptical once-over. "I'll be fine," I said boldly, although it was an obvious lie. Anyone who looked at my chart would've known sending me home alone was a cruel and mean-spirited suggestion. "Okay then," Duo shrugged without arguing. Both our heads shot to the side though when we heard a cough as Wufei made his presence known. "Maxwell," he warned with a cool look. I glanced back at my ex-partner and he whipped out a full on pout. "Wufei," he whined the name like a petulant child, drawing the two syllables of Wufei's name out in an absurd way. I assumed this had something to do with their argument outside earlier. Wufei's eyes hardened and Duo crossed his arms over his chest defiantly. I fought the urge to roll my eyes at their juvenile power struggle and decided to show them both I was fine by limping across the room and gathering my things. But while I made it the short distance to the supply table on the other side of the room, I was unaccustomed to my body being in this poor of shape and I pitched forward on the last motion, quickly catching myself on the table, leaning my full body weight into it and trying not to collapse. "Fuck," I muttered as my vision came back to me and suddenly my arm was being thrown around a familiar neck, gentle hands slipping around my torso, attempting not to aggravate my ribs, and I was guided back to rest against the bed. "Hey, you - you're in no condition to be pulling stunts like that." Soft, kind words. I had to clamp down hard on my emotions so as not to humiliate myself. After a week of feeling like Duo would've been happier had I died in that fall, I just really needed to hear words like that. I stared at the ground, unable to look at him and certainly not Wufei, feeling a sense of vulnerability that was rare for me. "What if I come back with ya?" Duo offered carefully and although I knew he didn't really want to, and I didn't really blame him, I couldn't help but nod my head ever so slightly. "I know we're not... whatever," I muttered dejectedly, trying to assuage his fears about the impending experience. I wanted to say 'in love' but that wasn't the truth. Maybe we weren't, but I still was. Duo didn't say anything. Instead he left my side and went to go get a nurse so that I could sign my discharge papers. "He's afraid of his feelings for you," Wufei told me bluntly once Duo was gone. He had crossed the room and sat next to me on the bed. It was uncomfortable; Wufei was never so outwardly compassionate to anyone. I felt a bit like he was trying to dig this in too, but I knew that wasn't fair or justified so I tried to let my shame go. "I still love him," I whispered, feeling like I just needed to say it. Needed to say it to someone so I wouldn't end up saying it to Duo and hurting him even worse than the past four years had. Wufei put a hand on my back then and I balled my hands into fists. "He still loves you too," he assured me softly. "But he's got a lot to consider." Then Wufei's hand fell and he chuckled slightly. "And once he does, hopefully I'll never have to discuss your relationship ever again." I let myself smile a little at his joke, appreciating that this was not an easy situation for the normally reserved man to be thrown into. "Thank you," I told him quietly. "I'm glad you were here." He just stood, gripped my shoulder and squeezed a moment, and then Duo and a nurse were walking in with a big stack of papers in hand. They rolled me out of the hospital in a wheelchair, to my public consternation but private relief, and Duo helped me into Wufei's car. The ride was a relatively silent one as I think we all had things to contemplate. We pulled up to an unfamiliar building and bid Wufei farewell, Duo letting me lean heavily on him as we made our way to the elevator. That feeling of having him there, supporting me, was such a comfort. So familiar. He was always there for me in a way no one else ever had been. Once we got inside - Duo had to dig through everything in my personal affects to find the key - we both looked around as if we were seeing the place for the first time. I hoped it would be familiar to me, but it wasn't. The bookshelf was the most familiar thing, but only because it reminded me of my bookshelf at our place in Lyon. Our place in Lyon. No longer ours. Someone else lived there now, probably. Duo lived in Sanc. I lived here. Remember. "I'll take the couch," I said quickly as Duo started forward. He tried to protest but I shut him down with a glare. If he had given it a second thought, he wouldn't have started to argue. The last thing I wanted was for him to have to interact with me in any way involving a bed. The thought of him being forced to bring me food in bed... It was too romantic. Too familiar. No. It was better this way. He helped me over to the couch and then announced he was going to make us some lunch. I heard him rustling around in the kitchen and then an irritated curse. "I'm going to have to go shopping. There's nothing here. You apparently don't eat." And then I was absorbed in a memory of yanking food off shelves, out of the refrigerator, throwing it into a trash bag as quickly as possible and I buried my aching head in my hands as it passed through me so quickly I could hardly catch my breath. This fucking sucked. "...Heero?" Duo asked carefully and I saw him staring at me from over the bar in the kitchen. Concern. Noted. "You okay, buddy?" "Yeah, fine," I replied as monotonously as possible. Duo came to inspect me for himself and I leaned back on the armrest and glared. Okay, I was never good at being babied, that's for sure. "It's okay if I go to the store, right?" he asked cautiously, walking the very thin line between offending me and making sure I really was 'fine.' "Yeah," I shot back, then thought of something. "Could you get me that envelope Jack left?" I almost regretted asking when Duo looked stricken and turned away hastily to go get it. He kinda threw it into my lap but I ignored his attitude and opened it, pulling out the stack of credits. "Holy shit," Duo breathed in awe and I realized at that moment that Wufei was right, he'd never opened the envelope. I don't know why that surprised me, maybe because Jack seemed so sure he would in his letter. Selfishly, it made me feel a bit better that he didn't read Jack's notes to him. I freed a thousand credits and handed them to Duo. I looked up to catch his surprised and reluctant expression. "For things for me. Groceries," I explained. The truth was that I wasn't entirely sure why Jack had taken them from the bank I'd left them in. He didn't explain it in his note, just stated that there was more money there if it was needed. But this seemed as good a use as any. Finally, Duo took the money and asked me if I knew where a market was around here. "No," I replied honestly and he scowled, though I recognized he wasn't irritated at me, more at himself for forgetting that this wasn't my home. It was Jack's. "I'll find one," he announced and headed for the door. But after opening it he paused. I don't think he looked back at me because I couldn't feel his eyes on me, but even if he did, I couldn't turn to see him from my position on the couch without a lot of maneuvering and pain. "You still think we live in Lyon." It was a statement, not a question, and it was quiet and sad. "Yeah," I answered simply as a memory of him came crashing through my brain unannounced. I was standing at the window, leaning against it, looking down at the city, just back from a mission. Something political. Must've been after Zurich. Feeling weary. Defeated. Tired. Like a failure. And he came up behind me and slid his arms around me and held me. He didn't say anything. He just held me like that for a long time. As I cleared my clouded mind, I wondered if he missed Lyon, too. "I wish we still did," I mumbled out - but it was too late. The door was shutting and he didn't hear me or maybe he didn't want to hear me so he left. I spent a lot of time thinking while Duo was gone. I thought about the psych profiles Jack had found in the Nexxus database. Though I thought borderline was a bit too harsh a description of Duo's personality, frankly, schizoid was a good guess on my part, and I was proud of them. Hell, probably to some degree they were right. One of the reasons I managed so well with Duo was that we shared so many interests together and he made no demands on my emotions. Never needed romantic gestures, never asked me to open up and talk to him about my feelings or any of that bullshit. He was happy sparring at the gym or fixing up a bike together or rolling in the sheets. Just spending time with me. He made it easy... I remembered Nexxus aggressively recruiting me. For almost a year they lavished offers upon me. Higher and higher pay, more prestige within the company, a pent house suite, expensive cars, an unlimited bank account. Then they started targeting Duo, bribing him, thinking he was holding me back. They offered a large donation to the orphanage he volunteered at, glamorous vacations for two, even going so far as offering him a very well compensated, high ranking position within Nexxus' manufacturing division. But frankly, I just didn't want the job. I did some coding in my spare time but robot AI was of very little interest to me. I didn't want to fuck with everything Duo and I worked to build with Preventer, in Lyon. I knew he only took the job at Preventer for me - I could hardly ask him to pack it all up and move to Geneva for a different job even if I had more than a casual interest in it. But now I knew their interest in me wasn't purely motivated by my skill as a hacker or status as a Gundam pilot, as I assumed it had been. They wanted me specifically for my experience with the ZERO system. Unfortunately, they never told me much about the particulars of the position - although they clearly didn't realize it, this was another big obstacle to me accepting their offer - and Jack didn't leave me any information about his job. I couldn't imagine what Jack would know in relation to ZERO that would make him worthwhile to Nexxus, especially since I purposely tried to rid myself of any lingering knowledge of ZERO when I underwent the brain reformatting. After all, ZERO is what caused me to be a threat to Duo, so what would be the point of leaving it intact? This caused me to think about the events leading up to the reformatting. If only I'd known how something so simple would completely alter the course of our lives in such a supremely negative way I would've - no, it'd be a lie. I couldn't deny Duo anything. And anyway it would've been silly and suspicious to do so. We had some time off coming up and despite our short New Years vacation in New York, we'd had to return to work quickly as the new year, for whatever reason, always brought out the best in criminals. So when Quatre invited us out to his private beachfront property that spring just as the days grew warm, I couldn't refuse Duo on any grounds. It was a friend, we had time off, it was only a few days, and work was relatively quiet. We were having a nice time. Wufei had brought Sally and Duo had great fun teasing the new couple. Duo shared recipes with Sally and Trowa and they made us fabulous food for every meal. Wufei, Trowa, Duo and I played cards on the patio at night until we were too drunk to count so then we would just stare at the stars and reminisce about battles we fought. I got to spend time in the comfort of the only people I considered my friends and that was rare and wonderful. I found myself having a good time, which of course meant I must've let my guard down. For whatever reason Duo egged us all into taking out the jet skis. Not that it was a hard sell. Even though the water was cold we all have a bit of a hard streak and cold water wasn't going to dissuade us from an adrenaline trip. Of course, we all had to push it too hard as we chased each other around the waves. Once again, I can't really complain. It was a rush. And any minor fuck up only made it more thrilling once balance was re-attained. But then Quatre lost control of his vehicle too close to me and it careened into mine. He managed to get off before the impact but I didn't and the collision forced me under and down into the water. I remember fighting it briefly before my head smashed into something - the ocean floor or a jet ski I'll never know - and I blacked out. I came to on the beach with Duo resuscitating me. My injuries were minimal, mostly just scrapes and bruises, but Sally determined I had a concussion so I got to sit through hours of watchful eyes and no alcohol or other activity while Wufei and Trowa hauled in the wreckage. And that was it, or so I thought. But vestiges of ZERO started coming back to me after that. I began hallucinating during the day. Not much at first but it quickly became worse. I started imaging different ways I'd kill Duo. Sometimes I'd beat him to death, sometimes I'd pull out my gun and shoot him in the head, sometimes I'd push him in front of a train or some other equally devastating vehicle. It was horrible. I'd snap out of it and he'd be smiling at me and all I could think was what if I did it? What if, one day, it wasn't a hallucination? What if it was real? Then came the horrible night I snapped out of it and I was actually holding a gun over him as he slept. By that point I had already been working with Quatre on ways to reverse the effects of the ZERO system on my brain. He was the only one I confided in, the only one I felt like could truly understand my plight, having worked on the development of the system and feeling the full force of its effects. We were hitting wall after wall when that fateful day came and I gave up. I knew that I had to do something drastic and so I moved in another direction with my research. I contacted a doctor at Nexxus who helped me develop the process and who would get me an in with Nexxus once I was reconditioned. I figured I could kill a few birds with one stone. Fix my brain, save Duo, find a job I'd be good at that wanted me in my reconditioned state so that my new self would have somewhere to go. The day before the procedure I met with the head of the R&D department and explained my situation. They were all too happy to have me - maybe even happier than had I been Heero as my alter ego would surely be easier to placate, right? I don't know. I don't know that I'll ever truly understand their motivations. I kept that decision from Quatre as I had from Duo and everyone else. To truly disappear, you had to make sure no one knew you were doing it. But the thing I didn't understand, the one piece of this puzzle that truly perplexed me, was Quatre. I could understand him calling Jack and threatening him. He knew how difficult my hallucinations were for me and how I had always anticipated I might one day hurt Duo, hence my desire to fix my broken brain and quickly, though I never told him just how close I got. That wasn't what bothered me. What bothered me was the note on his psychological profile. 'Recruitment pending.' What did that mean? When did Nexxus start attempting to recruit Quatre? And why? For his knowledge of the ZERO system? He was the owner of WEI, what would possibly motivate him to work for Nexxus? I considered going back to work as Jack for a moment to try to learn more about Nexxus from the inside, but quickly abandoned the idea. I simply didn't know enough about his coworkers or his personality to pull it off. And having been out of work for a month in such a terrible accident... no matter if he was the most caustic, anti-social asshole on the planet, everyone would be in his business asking him where he was and how he was doing. Unfortunately, I would have to ask Duo. Wufei had mentioned we met at a tech conference. I must've been giving some lecture about my work, right? Or Jack must've. Maybe he was published and I could read some of his work. I resolved to find out. Before I could work my way off the couch to get my tablet and begin my research I heard the door open and Duo walked in, laden down with groceries. Thankfully, he was able to manage without my help, chatting about the different people and things he ran into on his quest as he put the food away. Eventually he fell silent and I heard the sound of food cooking and then began to smell the pleasant, fatty smell of bacon frying. I remembered waking up that first morning in the beach house to Duo kissing my shoulders and my neck. I was sleeping on my side, strange for me, and longer than usual. The late night, the excess alcohol, and the rough, sloppy sex must've thrown off my internal system. I turned over to kiss him thoroughly and he grinned afterward, handing me a plate of eggs and bacon, proud of himself for waking up before me for once so that he could bring me breakfast in bed. I groaned and rubbed my eyes, the dull ache in my brain throbbing painfully. Duo didn't hear me over the sound of the kitchen and I was glad. This was going to be a long, long recovery.
~ * ~ tbc... |
